Mary Kay Cosmetics the Real Deal!

First let me just say, I am a PROUD Mary Kay Consultant! Why do I say this? Well during my time as a Mary Kay consultant, I have encountered ups and downs with my business and have received a ton of skeptical looks when I mention my future career goals. There are so many misconceptions about Mary Kay and honestly, sometimes I get a tad frustrated having to defend myself when I say that Mary Kay is an amazing company and that I want Mary Kay to be my only job by the end of the year. So, I thought there is one way I could help dispell some of the falsities that so many people believe about Mary Kay by reaching the masses with my blog! 🙂 So let me begin with my Mary Kay history.

Almost four years, a friend of mine from high school found me on Facebook and contacted me about Mary Kay products. I initially bought a trial size of the anti-aging skin care line and the microderm abrasion and was HOOKED! My skin never felt so amazing! A few days later, I signed up to be a consultant. Initially, like anyone with a new “toy,” I was gung ho and going to take on the world with Mary Kay. Well, it didn’t work out quite like I had planned. This was solely my fault in thinking that Mary Kay products would sell themselves and I really would not have to do all that much work. WRONG! There were many challenges that I had to face and I was ill prepared to face them with my business. I got discouraged and put Mary Kay on the back burner. Three years later, due to financial need, I said let me give this another go and I have not been disappointed. Do I get a lot of people that say no? Sure do! Do I get discouraged at times? You bet! But in the end I know that with hard work and dedication, I can achieve whatever I want with my Mary Kay business and that is exactly what I am going to do!

Now with that being said, let me clear some flat out falsehoods about Mary Kay. The one I get the most is “it is a pyramid scheme.” Well, Mary Kay is not a pyramid scheme by any means. Pyramid schemes take money from people under you and you cannot really make money unless you have people under you. This is NOT the case with Mary Kay. You can make excellent money just selling the Mary Kay product. You DO NOT have to recruit people to sell Mary Kay. Will you make more money if you build up a team and have people under you? Yes that is absolutely true! If you recruit people to sell Mary Kay you do get a commission from their sales BUT it does not come from the money they make. The Mary Kay Company gives you that money and nothing is taken from the consultants under you. If you choose not to recruit people you do not have too. Mary Kay will not pressure you in any way to do so. If you want to be a part time sales consultant, full time, or even sign up for Mary Kay to get the discount then so be it. Its YOUR business and you can do with it what you will.

Another thing I hear all the time is Mary Kay is too expensive. Again so not true. In starting back into my Mary Kay business, I went to my biggest competition in New York City, Sephora and guess what? Mary Kay has a much lower price point than most products at Sephora in the skin care lines and make-up. Mary Kay has various skin care lines for any type of skin type at a range of prices! Our newest skin care line Botanical Effects is $56.00 for the whole set! Sephora’s “botanical line” for the whole set was over $75.00. That is just one example of many as far as cost.

I also get that Mary Kay is “my grandmother’s make-up.” Well, I personally would not want to be wearing my grandmother’s make-up and Mary Kay does not want you too either. Mary Kay is very much in the know how of 2012 and what every age group wants. I saw an ad this morning that Revlon has a tinted lip balm out now. Did you know Mary Kay has had tinted lip balm for over two years now? I see Neutrogena and Cover Girl advertising eyeshadow bundles showing you how to have smokey eyes or accent your eye color. Again Mary Kay had this well over a year ago. Don’t even get me started on all the anti-aging products that are flooded on the television. Mary Kay has had them for YEARS before it became “hip” to stop the aging process. Mary Kay has a wide variety of make-up and skin care to fit every age from teenagers to retirees.

Now, I could go on and on about how great Mary Kay is and what it can do for anyone that wants to be a consultant but I am going to leave that up to a great segment that was on Nightline a few months ago focusing on the growing number of women that are becoming Mary Kay consultants in a down economy. This segment shows how REAL Mary Kay is and what can happen if you work hard and enjoy what you do! Take a few minutes to watch the segment and you will see why I love Mary Kay so much and why it is not that “insane” that I want to be my own boss and have fun at the same time!

In Down Economy Lipstick Sells

I hope this blog dispelled some of the typical stereotypes heard about Mary Kay and I also hope that giving Mary Kay a try products wise or being a consultant is at least worth looking into! I could not even describe what a giving, supportive and incredible group of women I work with daily! We all want to achieve a success whether it be part-time or full-time making women (and men) feel amazing daily! 🙂

Spring Has Sprung – Back To Nature Beauty Trends

Spring is here! With this amazing weather we are all having it seems only natural to want to show off a fresh new look for Spring and Mary Kay has a great limited edition line just for that. So lets look at the great new make-up and skin care trends that Mary Kay has to offer.

We all get a a little spring in our step when the warmer weather pushes the cold Winter blues away. We are outside more enjoying the great weather and our skin needs to feel fresh and clean as well. Mary Kay has a brand new skin care line to give your skin that natural fresh look!

 

Botanical Effects^™ Skin Care is infused with the goodness of botanicals personalized for each skin type to bring out its healthy radiance. Mary Kay tested the regimen to make sure those with sensitive skin could share in the beauty of its botanical benefits. Botanical Effects^™ Skin Care is hypoallergenic and free of fragrance, alcohol and synthetic dyes. The Botanical line comes in Dry, Normal and Oily skin care types! Plus, the packaging is gentle on the planet while the price goes easy on your budget. Now doesn’t that just feel good? The whole set is $54! That is at minimum two month supply of great skin care!

Keeping your skin clean and fresh is vital to ensuring that the new Spring colors look smooth and natural on your skin! And don’t forget all of Mary Kay’s skin care products have increased SPF to help protect our beautiful faces from sun damage.

Now that we have cleansed and freshened our skin lets play with some amazing Spring colors that will take you to the beach for summer! Mary Kay’s Limited Edition colors for spring remind me of tropical lush colors that I saw in Maui. The  Limited-Edition Mary Kay^® The Art of Nature Collection has nature’s beauty coming to life this season in lightweight, high-gloss makeup that’s fun and effortless to wear with good-for-you ingredients like aloe and shea butter.

Mary Kay Fluid Eye Color- Available in Rainforest and Pearl $15

This is a velvety soft brush-tip application! The brush creates a crease and smudge-proof long lasting look! Contains botanicals, aloe, shea butter and avocado butter!

Mary Kay Dual Lip Glaze- Available in Glistening Sand and Warm Coral $14
Instantly moisturizes lips with a high shine finish! Contains aloe, shea butter, and safflower oil for a soft and protected feeling! The “dual” effect is due to the clear gloss and color that mixes as you apply to create a glass-like finish.

And ladies lets not forget our feet this Spring! As the sandals and open toed shoes come on we need pretty little feet with warm lush colors for our toes! Mary Kay has a limited edition Pedicure Set for only $24!! It will last for many uses and more cost effective than getting a pedicure every week!

And after you are done pampering your feet polish up those toes with Mary Kay’s limited edition Spring nail colors! Only $9!!

I am so excited about this natural look for Spring and Summer! You can get all these great products on my site http://www.marykay.com/hculbertson Get them now before they are gone!

 

 

 

 

 

The People I Meet

I have been asked a lot to post a blog on the people I meet when I travel or just hanging around New York City. I travel quite a bit every month to upstate New York to visit my daughter and of course I am running around Manhattan and the boroughs daily in my life here in the Big Apple. During these travels, something always happens; usually delayed flights or trains for various reasons, that make me irritated and whine about how much I hate traveling. But I also meet some very interesting characters along the way to include a woman that sat next to me during my 7 hour train ride upstate and asked me if I minded holding her denture cup while she brushed her dentures sitting right next to me and we can’t forget the lovely NYU male students that crammed into one seat to watch a wretched movie that my best friend dared me to watch with a killer turkey. (I still think she owes me more drinks for that.) Anyway, today I met someone very interesting and I only had to travel to the entrance of my building. This is the story of my encounter with Howie Spira.

Some New Yorkers may know the name Howard (Howie) Spira. He has many claims to “fame” but the one he is most known for is being found guilty of extorting money from New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner. He was convicted and put in prison for a few years trying to extort money from Steinbrenner in a deal gone bad as Howie was supposed to dig up dirt on Dave Winfield so Steinbrenner could be rid of him. Ultimately Steinbrenner was banned from baseball for a few years and Howie did prison time. Well now at the age of 52, Howie is wandering the streets of New York carrying little pink pieces of paper with his name and number on them trying to pick up women apparently.

I was out smoking a cigarette minding my own business and here comes this bald, scuffing his shoes guy with a beat up over coat. Initially, I assumed he was going to ask me to bum a cigarette (usually the case here in the Big Apple) oh but no. He bluntly asks if I “rock men’s worlds with my long legs and high heels.” Now those of you that know me, know I can’t hide any thing so I am pretty sure my facial expression was one of those WTF looks, but I just smirked and said, “yea sure I suppose” and laughed it off hoping this wierd little old guy would walk away. I would not have such luck. He proceeded to tell me that if I would call him he would worship my legs and feet, would dress me up in “high style” and he could be my “bitch.” At this point I burst out laughing looking at this guy thinking the dude has some balls I will give him that. I was honest with him and told him there was no way I would call him as he was not my type. Lame excuse, I know but anyone that knows me and saw this man:

would know I would not date him. Though according to Howie he felt I only dated “black and/or hispanic” men as I was a blonde. He also thought I was usually a little old for him when he found out I was 41. You see, he normally hits on women in their 20’s. I am assuming that these young women think he has money, as he comes across that he does with all his talk of movie deals, book deals and suing half of New York for his failures dating back to the Steinbrenner days. He told me he could not only dress me to the nines, he could even put me in a Manhattan penthouse and keep me happy for days. I got all tinglly inside let me tell you. Politely, I told Howie I really did not want to date him and would respectfully decline the offers of living in the life of luxury hoping I could make my great escape back up to my office. Oh but no….

He keeps on talking about Steinbrenner, the Jets, the Giants, the Packers, and went up and down my Buffalo Bills team (yes I know they suck, but really you are not scoring points with me when you tear them to shreds) and on and on and on about how he knows sports inside and out and he has made a lot of money with sports. Oh I forgot he used to be an agent for some of the best modeling agencies in New York. I am figuring that contributed to his “fortune” as well since he has a “knack” for picking out the most beautiful women in New York City to date. At this point, I had been outside for over 20 minutes and I just told him nice to meet you Howie but I really have to get back to work. He politely tried to shove his little pink piece of paper with his number on it in my hand that I dodged shaking and I took off.

Once upstairs, I did a little research on Howard Spira as he seemed shocked I had no clue who he was when he walked up to me and come to find out that not only was he involved with the Steinbrenner  debacle, he is a known gambler and owed more money to the Italian mob families than anyone in New York City back in the day and became an FBI informant to help with that mess too. He lives with his parents in the Bronx with bars on the doors to protect his parents from getting “whacked” for his non-payment of debt and lives on medicaid and disability checks. I am wondering how he was going to finance that shopping trip and penthouse, but I stray. His background is peppered with problems and wants to be “someone” and went in the wrong way to get it, but apparently this is a lot to offer a woman and he is a real “catch” in New York. I can’t even feel bad for the guy as he caused his own life’s problems and seems to blame everyone else for them but Howie Spira has to be the one of the most ecclectic people I have met to date. Only in New York…..

 

Your Face is a Palette

Hello Ladies (well and men)! I have had a lot of questions lately promoting my Mary Kay business on skin care. So I figured I would write a little blog on the dos and don’ts of skin care! There is so much information out there and so many products to choose from, it is really difficult to know what is best for your own skin type. I hope the blog clarifies that for you  a little bit! 🙂

First things first, the number one thing you have to do is wash your face twice a day. First you need to wash your face when you wake-up in the morning. Your skin needs invigoration (as do a lot of us in the morning) so give your face a wake-up by cleansing in the morning. It is also vital to get that make-up off at night ladies, to include your eye make up. You do not want all that make-up left to seep into your pores overnight. I highly recommend (of course) Mary Kay’s Eye Make-up Remover. This is a non-oily, non-burning remover that easily takes off all mascara and eye makeup with ease. This also an important thing to note, you do not want to be scrubbing at your eyes to remove mascara. The skin around the eyes is way more delicate than the rest of your face and deteriorates faster. Be gentle to those pretty eyes of yours when removing your eye make-up.

Another important factor in skin care is not to mix products! Mixing product lines confuses your skin. When you mix products, your skin can produce more oils or dry out (depending on your skin type) which can show those wrinkles more, start the wrinkling process earlier, or cause break outs. It is always best to stick with one skin care line. If you are going to switch skin care lines, it is always best to throw the old out and start fresh with the new.

Ladies rejuvenating your skin is something it needs! Exfoliation is an important part of maintaining healthy skin. There are a million types of home facial on the market right now. Some are more popular than others, but no matter what brand you use exfoliation urges the skin to produce more collagen which we all need to hold back from the wrinkles that start setting in. We can’t stop wrinkles from coming (minus plastic surgery) but we surely can keep them at bay or fade them!

The one thing I cannot stress enough about skin care is MOISTURIZE MOISTURIZE MOISTURIZE! No matter what your skin type, keeping your skin subtle and soft is so important! Especially at night. When we sleep our body recovers from the stressors of the day. This also includes our skin. Mary Kay has a brand new product Repair and Restore moisturizer that feels amazing on and works on erasing the damage that is done to our faces everyday. Another great product to use on your face is a Vitamin C serum. Replenishing your skin is key in the anti-aging process!

Now there are  a lot of products out there to give your skin the vitality it needs but there are also some natural ones. Stay hydrated! Drink water! Your skin needs hydration. The dryer your skin gets the quicker it will wrinkle and who wants that? Eat healthy! Sugars, salt and high complex carbohydrates damage the skin! Lastly stay out of the sun if possible. While this is pretty unrealistic for most, if you are going to be in the sun for any length of time no matter what time of year it is, wear sunblock. Most moisturizers out there, including  Mary Kay, have sun block 15 or higher in them.

There, now there are some tips to keep your skin healthy so when you put that make-up on everyday it goes on smoothly and accents your face! I highly recommend using primers before using any foundation or eyeshadow. Smooths out the skin and fills in any wrinkles you may have. I also recommend mineral based foundations. Less clogging to your pores and lets your skin breathe! I was so happy when Mary Kay started with their mineral foundation and mineral eye shadow lines!

That about covers my tips that I give my friends, family and my customers. You cannot stop father time but you can slow it down with taking care of your skin and using make-up that accents you not covers you.

www.marykay.com/hculbertson

 

 

Getting Down to Business

As many of you know, I am a Mary Kay Independent Sales Representative. Many of you have seen my  posts on Facebook and Twitter offering sales and featuring different products Mary Kay has to offer. I have also sent emails to many I think would be interested in using and/or selling Mary Kay. For the most part, I have had a positive response or no response until recently.

I received a pretty nasty email from someone that did not like the fact that the majority of my Facebook posts lately have been focused on my Mary Kay business. I have also had some comments from some that like to poke fun at what I am doing. I have an amazing sense of humor but please note what I do is a BUSINESS and when you run your own business you have to market, sell, and reach out to possible leads. If you do not like that all I am posting lately is in reference to my business please delete me.

While I do have a full time job as an office manager of a law firm in Manhattan, I also NEED a part-time job to help support my daughter. I am a single mother who has a daughter going to college in less than two years. You bet I am going  to work hard and keep on working hard so she does not have to struggle like I did. I sell Mary Kay for this reason and because I believe in the product. I am not going to go to my friends and family that I hold dear and try to sell them something just because. If I didn’t believe in the product, I would not sell it. I am a living example of how well Mary Kay skin care and cosmetics work. I am 41 years old and look ten years younger. No one every believes I am as old as I am and when asked “what do you do?” I respond I take care of my skin using the Mary Kay skin care line. That is reason number two why I sell Mary Kay.

Lastly, reason number three, I like doing it! I am an outgoing, social person and getting out there talking to women (and men) and promoting my business that I work hard at just as I work going to my corporate job everyday. I am surrounded by amazing women that support me and give me faith in myself and are there for me every step of the way. I have made some amazing friends through Mary Kay and I wouldn’t trade them in for the world. My unit director Louise Lehner is an amazing woman and has been like a mother to me more than someone trying to make money off of me. I am proud to know her and all of the others in my unit that support me in my quest to provide a good life for my daughter and myself.

So before you send me emails saying you “want Holly back” with her quirky funny posts, or worse, or poke fun at something I take seriously, please note that I am running my own business and I want it to be successful and like anyone in their own business they are going to reach out to their close friends and family for leads, sales, etc. Don’t judge or stereotype until you know all the details. You may be surprised in what you find out if you just ask.

www.marykay.com/hculbertson

The Rapture Nonsense

We have all heard the jokes and seen the media blitz for the “rapture” that was not and not shocking to most of us Harold Camping’s prediction of doomsday did not materialize on this past Saturday. Christians and non-Christians alike all rolled our eyes as the media went ballistic and gave Mr. Camping as much exposure as to Osama bin Laden’s death. Of course nothing happened but there were quite a few people (200,000 according to Mr. Camping) that truly believed in their heart of hearts that the end was coming and they would be taken up to heaven. This is very disturbing to me that 200,000 more or less people could actually believed Mr. Camping’s nonsense. We have to ask how mentally desperate have people become to throw away common sense for a whimsical story embellished by cult leader.

I have never been a fan or supported organized religion. Honestly, all of it is cult like in my opinion. I don’t knock anyone that has faith in any particular religion but when you have people draining their savings accounts, racking up credit card bills to drive across the country to be raptured, quitting jobs and telling your children they are going to hell for not believing is ludicrous. I have read so many stories this past week in the media all saying the the latter. How “Christian” is this? Who is anyone t pass judgment because they do not believe in the same religion as they do? Because honestly, lets face it no one knows exactly what is going to happen when the end of the world comes (if it comes). If any organized religion has facts they can lay out on the table about what happens during the apocolypse (other than your bibles, korans, torahs, etc. those are subjective not factual) then please bring it on and show it to these people and to myself.

These people really do not even see that they have fallen prey to a psychologically unstable man who preys on people that are desperate to find some peace in a very chaotic world. So what is left for them now that this deranged man’s prophecy didn’t come true? Confusion and even more mental instability than they had leading up to this nonsense event. People like Mr. Camping are very dangerous and should not be given the media attention that was given to him. It only feeds into the very dangerous nature his mind is in. Mr. Camping, in my humble opinion, needs a good psychiatrist and his avid supporters need to see a debrainwashing specialist. I can’t even imagine how depressed these people are right now because of this non-existent rapture.

I think recent events only prove how unstable organized religion is and how it affects so many. Throughout history, organized religion has mentally and physically hurt millions because one didn’t believe like the other. Bottom line, none of you are right or wrong. You have no idea if what you believe in is factual. People make choices to believe in a particular religion, but you cannot state that everything you believe in is factual and we should all remember that when one wants to pass judgment on one another. Just because you believe it doesn’t make it true. Mr. Camping just reinforced that statment this past weekend.

Gun Control

With the most recent tragedy in Arizona, there has been an increased amount of talk in the media and the general population for stricter gun laws. What amazes me, is how many people are against having stricter laws that prevent people from owning a weapon that could result in the mass shootings we have recently seen in Arizona and instances as the Virginia Tech shootings. It truly baffles me that people are screaming that their constitutional rights will be violated if stricter laws are enacted. The Consitution is a sound document in many aspects, but also very outdated as pertaining to the America we live in today.

When America was being born, owning a gun or the “right to bear arms” was pretty much essential as Americans needed guns literally to survive. Hunting for food and with very few laws in place for criminal behavior the right to bear arms was logical. I am pretty sure our founding fathers had no clue what America would be like today and the dire consequences of right to bear arms with no control. The drafters of the Constitution did not consider mental health issues, people with violent criminal and mental histories, nor did they consider gang warfare as none of these issues were in the forefront of their America.

Today, however, all of those issues are in our America and we see it constantly in the media of gun violence in our country. I have heard this quote over and over that “people kill people guns don’t kill people.” Well in some aspects that quote is true but stricter gun laws would prevent people from killing people. Gun control should be a Federal mandate and not one left to the states. All people wanting to bear arms should have a thorough criminal background check and mental health examination. If the young man in Arizona had a mental health examination, chances are he would not have been able to walk into the store he did and purchase a gun. If you have no violent criminal record and are mentally sane, I do not understand why anyone would be opposed to stricter gun laws? In the end it protects you as much as it protects everyone living in this country. Honestly ask yourself that if someone is bi-polar and not taking medications wants to buy a gun just because he has the right too under the Constitution you would feel comfortable with that? I for one am not.

There is no question that stricter gun laws is a total political issue and the chances that our country will get stricter laws won’t happen any time soon. The NRA (National Rifle Association) lines the Republicans pockets with donations and most recently came out in supporting the Tea Party movement. The scary part of all of this is, that as more and more people become more distressed with the government whether it be Republicans or Democrats in Washington, we see more and more militant groups popping up and rogue people like the young man in Arizona taking the law in their own hands and killing people.

I am not saying that Americans should lose their right to bear arms; what I am saying is that we have to have stricter laws mandating owning a gun. As I stated before criminal background checks, mental health examinations and even training classes on how to use a gun before one can be purchased. Keeping guns out of the mentally ills’ hands is a win win situation for all of us and really could have prevented many deaths that our country has seen over the years.

Veteran’s Day: Appreciation vs. Political Agenda

I was perusing through my Facebook this morning and one of my friends, like so many others, made a post wishing veterans a Happy Veteran’s Day. There was a comment made on that post that really upset me. In sum, the comment stated that we shouldn’t forget that blacks, women, gays, etc. were or are not allowed or condoned in the military. As a veteran, that comment really demoralized what I and many of my friends and family have done to protect her so she is allowed to make that remark.

I am as political as they come and a huge champion for equal rights for all and aware of the struggles that minorities, women and gays have had or are having in the military. I was a woman in the U.S. Marine Corps. That is no easy feat when the Marines are 75% men, but what I and my fellow Marines and service members did was serve our country and the U.S. population to keep our country safe and provide you with a country that lets people like this women speak freely without punishment. I have friends who are veterans that are suffering from PTSD, permanently injured, or have died in the course of serving their country. The least this women could have done was thank them and not bring politics into a day that is for appreciation.

When I joined the military, I did not have a political agenda and nine times out of ten, military members do not have a political agenda. Political agendas are not promoted in the military. All branches of service are governed by the Uniform Code of Military Justice which promotes discipline and uniformity for all service members. This is the ONLY way the military can work. There is no “I” in the military there is only “we.” We rely on each other to function as a cohesive unit to perform our duties as delegated whether we are sitting at a desk or on a battlefield. Many do not understand this but the rules and regulations that have governed our military over the many years it has been in existence has served a purpose.

Our nation’s history is fraught with discrimination towards others and yes, that includes the military. Not that I agree with it, but during times of discrimination the military leaders had their reasons for why they did what they did. Whether they are right or wrong, if the military is going to run as a cohesive unit, sometimes equal rights are not given. It has been a very very long time where blacks and women were not allowed in the military and gays have never been banned as this woman stated. Gays are allowed into the military and can serve their country right along everyone else they just cannot tell anyone that they are gay. There is a big difference there than being banned, but Veteran’s Day is not the day to bring this to any sort of consciousness.

Those that have served in the military do as they are told and proudly do so because they are doing something that many do not do. I am very proud to have been one of the elite and served in the U.S. Marine Corps. For this woman who made that horrid comment, I ask you this; have you served? I am willing to lay odds on that you have not. So instead of making Veteran’s Day a soap box, show some appreciation and respect to those that have done so much to keep you out of harms way.

Semper Fi!

Embracing 40

On November 4th forty years ago, I was born. Forty years ago!! That number sounds so daunting when it is written in that context and well turning 40 is a rather daunting experience for some. Oh, I know  “40 is the new 30” or even “the new 20” and the media plays this up to the population of the world but really is 40 the new 30 or 20? How in the world do you take ten or twenty years off an age? You cannot and, yes, age is a “state of mind” but there is no way of stopping the aging process unless you believe you are Heidi Montag and want to go bankrupt getting plastic surgery. So do I embrace 40 or do I kick it to the curb and announce myself as a 30 year old again because it is the latest fad that the media wants us to bite into?

This is how I view turning 40:

– Realistically, my life is half over! YAY! Only 40 more years to go before I get some much needed sleep.

– I spend insane amounts of money on skin care, cosmetics, and whatever anti-aging product I can get my hands on. Oh and let us not forget the money I am spending to keep my body in shape at the gym because lets face it things are not drooping at 30 folks. After you add up years of doing this, I should just go see if Heidi Montag can recommend a plastic surgeon.

– A night out on the town with your friends requires three to four days of recovery period especially if you are out past midnight and there is anything more than a couple glasses of wine involved.

–  I can officially be called a Cougar if I dare date anyone younger than me. I just love this little “title” that has become popular. Thank you Demi Moore! I seriously question why men in their 40’s and older can date younger women and not get a nice little title like Cougar. Can we label men buzzards or something?

– More trips to the doctor’s, dentist etc because as you get older everything starts falling apart.

– Menopause is right around the corner. Oh so embracing this can you tell?

I could go on and on about getting older and the downsides of it in today’s society. Cosmo and all of those ridiculous magazines that put Jennifer Aniston on the cover bowling us over with Jennifer is 40 and beautiful you can be too is utterly ridiculous. Have you seen the amount of money that woman makes? Of course she can be beautiful at 40 because she has the money for the best of everything. Outside of Hollywood in the real world, however, it is not quite that simple. Turning 40 is the turning point of getting old. That is the truth and everyone knows it and all of those women out there “embracing” their 40’s are in complete and utter denial of the fact that they are aging.

Now I realize this is a very negative viewpoint of the aging process and many out there are not going to agree with my negative attitude about turning 40, but I am going to go with the flow of the media hype and see if this 40 is the new 30 concept is really true and party like a rock star all weekend celebrating this “amazing” milestone in my life, take a week to recover, be in the gym everyday making sure my butt didn’t get saggy over the weekend, and who knows might find myself a nice young man that can call me cougar!

A Brief History of Homosexuality – Red’s Viewpoint

***Please note the following is my opinion and mine alone. While many will agree with my opinion many will not. I want to be clear I am basing my opinion on historical record which, of course, as with all history can be interpreted in many ways. This is a controversial issue and I will reiterate that any comments that are defamatory towards either side of the argument will not be approved.***

One of the most debated topics of the day is whether homosexuality is biological or a choice influenced by the environment. Basically stated nature versus nurture. There are many arguments supporting both theories but we must remember theories are not facts. Neither side of the argument can prove scientifically (yet) that being homosexual is nature or nurture but what is fact is that there is approximately over 61,000,000 homosexuals in the world today. That is roughly 10% of the world’s population. I find it hard to believe that this many people chose to be attracted to the same sex.  Being gay is not a modern concept. Homosexuality can be documented to the beginnings of modern civilizations where it was accepted as a natural way of life. With that being said, the following  is a brief background of the roots of homosexuality.

In the beginnings of modern civilization, the term homosexual did not exist. There was no category or classification for those that were attracted to or had sexual relations with the same sex. The Ancient Greek philosophy on sexual preferences saw no gender, but rather, that beauty could be seen in either sex and love could be obtained no matter what physiological details one had. “Gender just becomes an irrelevant “detail” and instead the excellence in character and beauty is what is most important.” (http://plato.standford.edu/entries/homosexuality/) The Greeks throughout their history recorded same sex attraction and sexual acts openly. Even some of their Gods; Zeus, Achilles and Hercules all had stories of sexual acts and relationships with men.  In Homer’s Iliad, that  was written around the 8th Century BC,  there was no thought that being attracted to the same sex was “wrong” like many see it today. Achilles, for example, falls in love with and has a relationship with Patrocius until his death. (The 20th Century movie of Troy changed this part of the story to have Brad Pitt’s character Achilles fall in love with Patrocius but as a woman not a man.)

Another famous Greek that was very open about his attraction to men was Alexander the Great. He made no qualms about his attraction to men and preferred sexual relations with men over women. If it were not the strong influence of his mother, Alexander most likely would never had produced any heirs as he wanted no part of sexual relations with women. Alexander’s father before him also had sexual relations with males. The thinking of the time was pleasure could be found in either sex and if you preferred male on male relations then so be it. Plato wrote about a whole city that encouraged a homosexual lifestyle. “The City of Elis…described by Plato, Plutarch, and Xeonphon as a city that actively encouraged male-male relationships.” (http://isocrat.org/history/gay_hist.php)

The Ancient Romans mirrored the Greeks on same sex attraction and sexual relations with the same sex. Many have tried to say that the Romans persecuted homosexuality, but that is far from the truth historically.  Cicero was one of the most strictest enforcers of Roman Law to include statutes dealing with any type of sexual relations. No where in recorded history does Cicero talk about persecution or punishing anyone that had same sex sexual relations. In Augustinian Rome, male prostitution was not only legal but taxed. Prominent citizens of this time were very open about their relations with the same sex and felt no shame in being open with it. The Roman Senate that made the laws for Rome for hundreds and hundreds of years were not only tolerant of homosexuality, many were either bi-sexual or homosexual. It was not until the rise of Christianity that the thought process started changing about being homosexual.

The rise of Christianity was the catalyst that sent open sexuality into the dark ages. The first reforms of open sexuality began in  Augustinian Rome. Augustus and Pope Clement I planted the seeds that would one day cause homophobia in Europe. Their original beliefs that it was not “natural” to have sexual relations with anyone for pleasure let alone with the same sex. Augustus and Clement’s “natural” theory did not exactly make a whole lot of sense though. At the time, it was believed, under the “natural” theory that hyenas dug up corpses in graves for food, that rabbits grew a new anal opening yearly and that weasels mated through the mouth and gave birth through their ears. “Because hyenas were considered a rather disgusting animal, and the fact they believed to engage in homosexual sex predominately, homosexuality itself began to be considered to be disgusting…”(http://www.bidstrup.com/phobiahistory.htm) Unfortunately for Augustus and Clement, this “natural” theory did not wash to well with the Romans at the time. Open sexuality was still a normal way of life and most ignored their “natural” theory completely and life went on as it prior to Christianity was introduced.

As Christianity spread through Europe, homosexuality was for the most part tolerated until about the 11th century. While there were periods from the fall of Constantinople into the Dark Ages where homosexuals were killed for their preferences, there were no firm written laws regarding being homosexual. Christianity and Islam forbade sexual relations with the same sex on moral grounds but sex with anyone at that time was frowned upon unless it was for procreation. Also at this time, the word homosexual was still not used. Anyone having any type of sex that was not missionary style for procreation purposes was called a sodomite. With the fall of the Roman Empire and Constantinople many of the teachings of the Ancient Greeks and Romans were lost and the repression of the Catholic church spread throughout Europe.

As Europe entered the Middle Ages, Pope Gregory IX set up the Papal Inquisition. The Papal Inquisition branded homosexuals, among many others for various reasons, heretics. As the inquistions spread throughout Europe anyone considered a sodomite was condemned to death. There were a few occasions where sodomites were “forgiven” but these would mostly be the priests and abbots in the monastaries run by the church. It should come to no surprise that “many priests and abbots not only left us literature celebrating their gay lovers, but some of the poetry they left us was baldy erotic.” (http://bidstrup.com/phobiahistory/htm) We also must remember that the term sodomite does not just refer to homosexuals it also refers to anyone that has sexual relations in an unnatural way.

As time went on, Christianity and Islam took hold of Europe and Asia. Both religions condemned any form of same sex attraction or sexual acts. Religious fervor swept both continents and led to the birth of homophobia. Many repressed any types of feelings of attraction to the same sex out of utter fear of death. Religious theories scared the population into thinking that if they were homosexual or condoned such behavior would burn in hell for eternity. Lack of knowledge and fear of perscution of the church repressed open sexuality for hundreds and hundreds of years. Homosexuality still existed but in the shadows until a more open world would accept them.

Unfortunately, religious law prevailed throughout the Western world for many centuries. It was not until the Enlightenment and Martin Luther that the populations started revolting against the oppression of the Catholic Church. Philosophy was reborn and the wisdom of the Ancient Greeks and Romans were brought back into the fold of education. Free thinkers and political upheavel spread throughout Europe but the Catholic Church stood their ground and claimed to be the “keeper of ethics and morals and claiming to be the moral authority even if it had been forced to yield political sovereignty.” (http://www.bidstrup.com/phobiahistory.htm) Since the Church decided it what was moral and what was not homosexuality was still condemned.

Not much has changed in that aspect today. The Christian and Islamic (the two largest religions in the world) still believe that homosexuality is morally wrong and unnatural. While they cannot prove this theory, they will both go to great lengths to make you believe it is true. Homosexuality was considered a mental disease for hundreds of years. Modern psychologists began questioning that theory and decided that being homosexual was not a mental condition and/or birth defect but rather a way of living that they had no control over. This conclusion came from studies of homosexuals’ brain patterns compared with heterosexuals’ brains. While there is no conclusive evidence that this is true, scientists are now in the process of trying to prove early psychological theories correct about homosexuality being as natural as being heterosexual.  

Modern times has not really done much in the way of acceptance and tolerance of gays and lesbians. The outbreak of the AIDS epidemic in the 1980’s caused large amounts of fear in straight and gay people.   Many labled HIV/AIDS the “gay disease” and were under the impression that it was spread by homosexual sex only. We all know now that is far from the truth and the origins of HIV and AIDs did not arise from homosexuals. The propoganda at the time only reinforced lack of tolerance and acceptance of gays and lesbians. As we head further into the 21st century, one would think that 61,000,000 million people would be more tolerated and accepted as they would have been in Ancient Greek and Roman society. It would seem, that we are turning back the clock to the Dark Ages once again, with the grass roots movement of getting back to basics. This movement is propelled by hard lined conservative thinking and religious beliefs. Gays and lesbians that were once starting to be more tolerated have now been attacked at all angles with the issue of having gay marriage legal.

One can only hope that people can put there beliefs aside and not let history repeat itself as is was in the Dark Ages. We all must remember that a belief is not fact but theory. The fact is there is 61,000,000 million people in the world today that do not have the same rights as heterosexuals enjoy. Whether you believe being gay is a choice or biological, they should not be discriminated against or persecuted because you don’t agree with how they live their life. How is it the basis of modern civilization today openly accepted homosexuals but we cannot in the 21st century?